We all have our struggle! A series of unfortunate events and thriving hard to survive them is how we describe life nowadays. Busy in getting our gigs done and devoting our lives to a single cause, that is where we tend to forget is that life is the name of breathing, and living every moment to its fullest. It is a worthwhile experience, not a frame of time in which we contain ourselves like a little chirping bird inside the wooden cage. 

Running televisions in our lounges and constant buzzing phones in our hands keep us distracted in this happening world and we all become a part of this change. However, as the time passes, we all come to realize that if we wont stop to appreciate what we have and cherish it for a while, it would slip down our fingers like the sand in an hour glass. 

The tea cup on the kitchen counter is still hot and the tiny swirls of heat that dance upon the surface, against the sunlight peeping in from the window, I can feel the warmth of my husband. I can still hear his laughter roaring in the empty kitchen and his vision holding the same tea cup and thanking me for making a wrap for him because we ran out of bread in the morning. The memory belongs to him in this very moment. However, as the day would pass the memory would vanish and I would no longer remember it as the cup would be washed out and stand still and cold in the dishes rack. 

Back in the days when we all were once cherishing our childhood, remember how all of the siblings used to gather inside the living room dancing and prancing around our parents like the little chickens around their mother and how hard we tried just to put a smile on our parents’ face. I still remember the cozy drawing room with a crackling fireplace where all of us used to gather and make memories, the time when we all had time for each other. The days where we actually wanted to be with each other and yearned for the genuine warmth. 

I went to my university the other day and whilst I sat down on the same table in the hallway where I spent 4 years of my life, I barely felt any connection with the place because that was the moment of realization. That was the instant where I actually realized that it is not the place or a thing that we cherish but the person who is associated with them. The table where I was filling my clearance form alone, was the same table where I used to sit and wait for my bestfriend in the morning, do projects and assignments with our classfellows, eat lunch in the noon while skipping classes and sharing lots of secrets and laughter in our free time. The fact that I could not see the same faces in the same ambiance made me feel unsettled because that place no longer belongs to us, rather, now is the time for new people to make memories there. In that very moment, I wished for the time to rewind back to that summer afternoon where we all were so happy, and together back in our days and when this place belonged to us. 

Lost inside the capsule of our struggle, we forget that the people around us are the real push why we are moving forward. Parents are struggling so that their kids could have a better, brighter future, husbands are struggling so that they could get the whole world for their wives and the wives are struggling to start a new family, but what if the people we are struggling for disappear one day? A day would come when one or both parents would disappear in the photoframes and polaroids, when our partner would leave us lost and lonely, when the children would step out of their parents’ homes to start their new family. Would the struggle be same then? The home we long to return back to at the end of the day, would it be same without the people that live in it? As a matter of fact, it is the choice of genuine over temporary. We are lost amid the fancy facade of temporary people that blinds us to an extent that we are unable to see the warm, golden halo of the people that we actually need to keep in our lives.

People inhabit us like a blooming garden and they are also capable of leaving us like an ancient abandoned library that is full of magical words waiting to be rediscovered. People come and leave, one person might be our whole world in a moment and in the other moment he would be gone and that is when we think that we are on the brink of downfall and the world is collapsing, yet again we find someone who makes us believe in ourselves once again. That is where the struggle starts again, the struggle to keep that person in your life for as long as you can.

Focus on who you are with, rather than what you are doing because most of the times, amid what we are doing, we lose the people who we started our journey with. Inhabit your life with people and not struggles because the struggle is eternal but the genuine souls scattered around will fade away with time. In the end we could say that life actually is not a struggle for things, but a struggle for people. Make yourself vulnerable to time and memories, cherish the company that you have and you would see how every moment would become a walk to remember, because it is only if you stop and look for a while that the life would give you an opportunity to love what you have and keep it safe in your heart, forever.

Hello, everyone!

Considering all the pandemic curse that we all are struggling through day and night, I hope to find you all in the peace of mind and safety of health. Spring is around the corner but it’s like we don’t even have time to think about the transitioning weather as we used to do in the normal routine. This time, I would’ve been putting all the winters clothes back into the closet and taking my summer outfits out with mom, but who cares? While checking the time on my phone screen, I realized that it is the DEFENSE DAY today. A long-awaited event whose preparations started from the day-one of March. I and my peers stood eagerly on our department’s roof watching the flypast rehearsals, yet in a moment, it’s gone. Nobody’s talking about it and I cannot see even a single post about the day. It’s like every link, every bond, every loop that had kept us connected for so long has vanished all of a sudden and all that prevails is individuality. All we care about now is our own safety.

This reminds me of how uncertain everything is and how ignorant we all have been while we had time. In planning our life-time achievements, we forgot what we had at that moment. While looking for more and most, better and the best, we lost what we needed to cherish the most; our friends, beloved, family, teachers, liberty, independence to breathe free, nature, evening strolls, meet-ups with cousins and fam. In my lifetime experience, I have never seen such a morose situation before. This situation could be best described as a feeling where everything is there as it used to be yet we are not able to feel them in their place. It is as if we wake up one morning and all the calendars become white, blank pages hanging on the walls, all the mobile phones lose track of time, dates, schedules, events, and planners where all we are left with are memos and diaries.

*Nostalgia joined the chat*

*You removed Nostalgia as the participant*    

Don’t you feel like there is something that is depressing and killing us more from the inside than the fear and melancholy of this pandemic virus? Regret! Regret that we could’ve been a bit more considerate towards ourselves and a little more forgiving towards the other people around us? Tell me you are not missing your class-fellows even the ones you don’t like personally? Don’t you feel guilty about your stubborn attitude towards life? How life gave us chances to learn, grow, be a better person, help others, be wild and free, but we wasted them either overthinking about tomorrow or mourning over the past. We are too unforgiving and too harsh when it comes to our own past or that of others, and too curious about what tomorrow will bring. We have failed as a human race. Cruelty is a common practice, arrogance over worldly things is a status symbol, show-off over nothing, making others feel bad about their own-selves, belittling others, violence, suicidal thoughts, mockery, injustice, lies, murder, animal violence, terrorism, rape of emotions and bodies likewise, accusations, accusations, and accusations! When would we stop and realize that it is we who need to change ourselves individually and not others.

#Judgeothersforwhotheyare went viral in 24hrs on Twitter.

When would we aim the cleansing gun towards ourselves instead of firing the mud balls at others? We need to emerge and behave as the superior race on this earth. We have a responsibility not to take care of ourselves and our fellow-beings only, but all the animals, plants and other creatures that are breathing around us. A patch of grass in the shade is dependent on humans to quench its thirst by watering it. Don’t go too far, just remember the Australian wild-fire. How scared those kangaroos and Koalas were as they hugged their human rescuers just because they were too scared of the fire, being unable to figure out whatever was happening. Moreover, where have all the hate and differences led you? All around the globe, people are struggling and suffering likewise. It is a global dilemma that teaches us to give up on our differences because no matter what, one thing will always remain common in us; Flesh and Humanity. We all are born the same and we die the same death, so what is all this arrogance about? Let’s just break this I-am-right-and-you-are-wrong glass wall that we have constructed between us and utilize your time in something eternal; something that would leave your marks on the earth even when you have ascended to the heavens.

#Judgeyourselfandbeabetterperson broke all the previous hashtag records on twitter by going viral in a blink on Twitter.

Now that we have so much time to pamper ourselves, do self-care, focus on self-development, pray to God, meditate, eat healthy at home (unlike regular days where we have to eat junk from cafeterias), write journals, feel the inner voice that we have been suppressing all our lives. Carpe Diem! Live in the moment and try to make the best out of it. Live, Breath, Inhale and Love yourself while you still can. Talk to your family, Laugh, Share and Care for your loved ones. Stop thinking about what could’ve been done or what could be done tomorrow. We have time, yet here we are, again looking forward to when things would get back to normal. We are in a haste, we always have been! And this is our tragedy, “Impatience” is surely our fatal flaw. Stop! Be patient! Bow down your stiffened necks a little bit! Persistence is the key and we will get through this together, fresh and new.

What matters the most is when the sun will shine brighter again, and we will get out under the deep blue sky once again, lets make sure the pandemic inside our hearts is the one that is actually gone, and we come out clean; forgiving, considerate, humble, responsible, contributing and positive than ever. Lets make a vow and sanitize our hearts from this ‘Myocardial Pandemic’ once and for all!

Hello beautiful souls!

Okay, so today I am going to share one of my articles that recently got published and is very close to my heart. I would love if you kindly visit the website where it originally got published and show some love, I will really appreciate that! <3 

Show your love at: Obaa by GirlTable  and lets get reading!

Yesterday was a lovely day because I woke up to my two publications in two different magazines. I sipped on my customized hot chocolate in a huge mug with a peppermint stick clinging to its side, as I shared the link with my friends and family. An instant message hit back my phone with the dim buzz which turned into a loud announcement when Siri said: You have a text message from Z.

Eagerly, I opened up my inbox and found one of my class mate’s message saying that her book review also got published a day before in the same magazine as mine. However, she was a bit cringed because they published only a fragment of her review. I found it awkward as well!

To my surprise, I got another message from her instantly saying, “I don’t care if they publish the whole content or a single line out of my passage because this magazine is a flop and anybody can get published in it, getting published in it is no biggie!” The conversation got a bit awkward because I was really content with my achievement, while another person in the same world, by getting published on the same platform was disappointed. Instead of arguing, I congratulated her again and told her that no achievement is big or small, an achievement is meant to be celebrated. So cheers!

I opened up my laptop and started preparing for my Law exam that was to be the following day. While going through the topic of “Human Rights”, something got stuck to my mind and my attention got diverted to the conversation I had a few hours ago with my friend. I realized how she was trying to belittle my efforts and minimizing my contentment and self-confidence. Maybe at that very moment, my mind never perceived anything this way, yet there was a strange awkwardness that my mind failed to apprehend. But in that very moment, that mist of awkwardness faded away and the statue of humiliation emerged from in between.

Actually, when she said that there is nothing special in getting published in this magazine as anybody can get published there if you really want to get published, you should go for some international magazines, my mind was being humiliated. All the content and confidence that I felt in the morning by the single glimpse of my mailbox was gone. Hours ago, I was feeling at cloud nine, while after a few words were uttered, all the satisfaction was gone, all that “I am special” attitude was grounded.

I took out my journal and wrote the “why” of the situation I was put into. The first why that I figured out was “Just because she couldn’t get her complete article published, that is why she said that to me”. Secondly, I figured out the what-if of the situation. I wrote down, “What if her complete article got published in that magazine? Would she still say the same about this magazine?” While these thoughts died as the night passed away.

A few weeks after, I saw her WhatsApp story that proudly displayed the link of her song review that got published in the same magazine she was bad-mouthing about a week ago. I read her article, and it was amazing and complete this time. Now, I opened my journal again and checked that what-if condition that I concluded that day. All the knots were open now and the clearer picture stood right in front of me. This is the age of survival-of-the-fittest, where we are running a race every day, running with an urge for more and more. Our urge is never-ending, in fact, it had turned into a Hunger-game. A game where we can easily prey upon others’ emotions, their feelings, and their happiness, just to conceal our failure.

Today, I shared the link of my article that recently got published with the title “Dawn of the Ugly Era of Comparisons.” I also shared how beautifully that website embellished the article with my complete Bio at the end, unlike the other magazine who just write down a one-line intro of their authors. Shockingly, I got a text message from Z again. She said that you should aim for more international magazines as it is all that matters. These national magazines don’t matter, their publications are futile and a waste of time. I opened up my journal again and started writing the answer:

Dear Diary,

Everyone in this world is trying their best to contribute a teensy bit in this huge world with an ocean of knowledge. Some of us achieve the brownie points while others remain deprived until the right time. However, we all get paid for whatever contribution we make for the betterment of this world.

Why are people trying to humiliate and belittle the efforts that others are making every day? Maybe what is insignificant for them, might be a mountain for the other. Just because we couldn’t achieve something, instead of struggling for that, why do we wish bad luck for others? No matter which platform you are submitting your writings to, no matter which company you are working with, no matter which internship you are doing to earn money, never let others make you feel bad. We all have a different story, we all have different characters and struggles in our stories, we all have a unique ending. If Cinderella had a happy ending with his prince Charming, doesn’t mean you will have the same ending. Your Prince can turn out to be a racist.

Just keep your ambitions high, start step by step, do something every day that brings you closer to your ultimate goal. Remember, life is full of bumps and plains, a few people can become your inspiration while the rest of the world will only point out the fingers at your work, at your achievements. Don’t let others dim your spark, Just keep going! You are doing just fine.

After I was done with the rant, I closed my journal and wrote this message to Z:

Hey Z, no platform is big or small, no website is good or bad, all you have to do is just believe in yourself and be confident in whatever you do. I don’t care if someone gets his fragment published in “Letter to the Editor” segment of a remote magazine. I will appreciate that as well because no achievement is big or small, the achievement is always confident!

After hitting send button, I clicked my mobile screen off and opened up the laptop to submit one book review to the same magazine, while sending an activism article to one of the international magazines for the second time. I started with writing critiques in a magazine, and am writing for three magazines at the moment, without any approval from anyone. Let your achievements shine bright like the diamonds because they are a reminder that you are growing into something bigger and better.

This article is to remind you guys that whatever you are doing, and whatever struggles you’re going through, just own them confidently, be proud and believe in yourself. You are doing an awesome job by trying to contribute to this vast world somehow! Don’t let anybody take that away from you!

Adios,

xoxo…

Dearest Fear,

I have been encountering you in many fields of my life. Sometimes in the form of boogey-man beneath my bed, another day, when my eyes were closed while shampooing my hair, I felt there is someone behind me, watching with long nails ready to pierce through my ribs. 

“Fear is a constant feeling of horror that clings to our ribs throughout our lives.”

This feeling dominates in the times especially when we are alone and depressed. I can bet that each and every person on this planet has a different definition of fear. For me, it could be a ladybird entering my brain through my nose, for someone else, it could be losing their loved ones, rejection, mockery, disrespect, defamation, heights, depths, water, buildings, earthquakes, and what not. 

Despite the fact that fear feels so so real, and even at times it deems to take us inside our graves. However, fear is just a delusion that one can easily overcome by one and only “Encounter.” If you fear something, keep this thing in mind that it is just a misinterpretation of reality. That nothing about fear is real, you are living, breathing and conscious. You can beat any danger, any trial, any challenge. All you have to do is to believe in yourself and be confident. Fear fades like a vulnerable flame of the candle that can die with a single blow of courage. And after that, nobody can stop you from achieving your goals.

Well, the reason that I am writing to you is that I got rid of one of my fears tonight.

You recognize this arched monkey climber? This is what I feared the most whenever I stepped inside any playground since my early days. Today, after 22 years of my life, I finally overcame this fear. I climbed halfway through it the first day, increased one rod the other day, hung like a monkey on the top rod on the third day, screamed to my sisters for help, felt like I am gonna seep through the gaps like a slime 😀 But finally, I was able to do it with a hard lump in my stomach tonight. I got it! 

What I actually did was that I made it very clear to myself that it is just a feeling that I can seep through the gaps. This has got nothing to do with the reality as I am big enough not to fall down 😀 It took me so long to make it through but once I completed the whole arch, I ran to do it again. And I climbed it three times in a row then.

Other than this, I recently got an interview call for internship from one of the summer schools. Now, I have this specific feeling of discomfort, awkwardness, and indecisiveness. I don’t know what to do, either to go for the interview or not, what would happen, what if they don’t like my answers, what if  I broke down there and if I had a panic attack, and much more is going on inside my mind at the moment. This fear can only be defeated by appearing for the interview and I am looking forward to that. Let’s hope for the best!

Heya beautiful souls, I hope you are living a fearless life with a lot of positivity and propagative activities going on around you. It is just a sweet reminder to believe in yourself and to conquer the dark territory of fear with that light inside you. The light of positivity!

Adios,

xoxo.